Midwest Blues

2006-01-29T06:49:00.000-08:00

Of Birthdays and Calendars

So, when are you considered old officially? When your parents forget to wish you on your birthday? This happened to me on the eve of the 28th. I called my parents back in Chennai, expecting the gushing wishes I normally get on 29th morning India time. Instead, my parents expressed surprise that I was calling them on a Sunday. After all, they reasoned, we had spoken for a good 45 minutes during my routine Friday evening call! “Ahem, we are forgetting something perhaps!”, I reminded them grandly. This immediately put my mother on the defensive. “Forgetting? No, we remembered today is Amavasya. Father is getting ready for tarpanam. What are we forgetting?” She demanded. “It’s the 29th, mom”, I pressed, afraid to use the B-word. Finally, my mother remembered. “O God, we forgot!” , she was profusely apologetic. Apparently, my parents had remembered it on 28th evening and were planning to do archana for God at the temple around the block the next day. But with the elaborate rituals that Amavasya, or new moon, demanded of religious Hinduism practitioners that my parents are, they had forgotten their daughter’s birthday. I forgave them as any daughter would, after some guilt placing. After all, they had called me on my star birthday!

For the uninitiated, there are two birthdays for Hindus: one according to the English calendar, the day that you are born. The other Hindu one is calculated according to the lunar calendar. For instance, I am an Anusham nakshatram (constellation), Vruchika (Scorpio) raasi (lunar sign) and born in Tai maasam (January/February). That made my birthday fall on January 25 this year. Such calculations are based on comprehensive lunar calendars called panchaangams, produced annually. The calculations are quite tricky. Each time my mother calculated an auspicious date for an occasion, she used to have it double checked by Bema, my grand mother. Of course, that was when I was young. Now with Bema’s passing, my mother has apparently become quite adept at it herself. On a cautionary note, there are several versions of lunar calendars depending on your language and sect. They all differ from each other by a day or so in prescribing the dates for Hindu festivals and occasions. For the more challenged folks such as myself, English calendars with dates of Indian festivals (based on lunar calendar estimations) are distributed by Indian temples in the US. For example, I am currently awaiting my calendar for the year 2006 from Edmond temple.

Coming back to birthdays, my nephew had his fifth birthday a couple of days earlier than mine. That alone makes our bond more special, in my opinion. This warm and mushy feeling is however not shred universally in my household. “Two Aquarians are way too many for the family”, my sister exclaims exasperatedly. Rohat planned for his birthday gifts well in advance. For the past month, he used to regularly interrupt my biweekly talks with my sister saying just, "Chitti (Aunt), will you buy me a Spiderman's cycle?" When I would agree, he would say thank you and rush away. My sister laughed and said that he has used this technique with every caller. For instance, from my parents, he has requested a Bhishma toy. I did manage to find a Spiderman's cycle and mailed it to him for his birthday. Meanwhile, Rohat had his birthday party at Chucky Cheese, his favorite haunt. My sister, recounting the incident, said that while the kids enjoyed themselves, the parents appeared dazed and tired. It is a real tight balancing act that dual-career families have to go through, trying to set priorities and manage busy careers with busier family schedules.

There was a slight controversy about my birthday when I was growing up. My mother forgot whether I was born on the 23rd or 29th of January. My sister used to tease me that the reason my mother forgot about my birth date was because I was an adopted kid. “You are the daughter of a fisherman named Karuppusaami. He didn’t have enough money to feed you, so parents took pity and brought you here”, she would claim. My sister, being a good 4.5 years older than I, knew everything, according to me then. When I asked mother if this story was true, my mother smiled, drew me close to her and said that she did remember that her cousin, Babu, got married the day I was born and it was a Monday. So, I did some frantic research and managed to find out that Babu’s marriage anniversary fell on the 29th of Jan and Jan 29, and not Jan 23, fell on a Monday on my birth year. One would have figured that my birth certificate would have cleared this confusion long ago. But, mother had misplaced it somewhere and found it only when I was getting ready to come to the US for my graduate studies. It took this mangled and torn piece of paper certifying my birth-date and my lineage to corroborate my finding. Only then did I feel truly assuaged.

Wearing new clothes for one’s birthday is a ritual in our family. I was contemplating choosing from a couple of tees and sweaters that are new, including one that my sister had gifted me recently. However, my mother wanted me to wear a saree for my birthday. “Which one?”, I teased, “the gorgeous pink saree you brought me years ago which you had intended for my engagement”? My mother was not easily dissuaded. “No, what about the blue one?”. I don’t remember a blue one. Blue has never been my favorite color and I was surprised that I had gotten a blue colored saree back with me from my yearly sojourns back home. “In any case, I don’t know how to wear one, amma”, I tried wriggling out of agreeing to her request. “You must try, Priya, only then you will learn how to wear”. “How to wear or how not to wear”? I persisted. To this, I got no reply. Curiosity got the better of me and I managed to rummage through my Indian wear and find the elusive blue Kancheepuram saree. So, now a saree rehearsal is on my “to-do” list (although way below Jude Law).

2006-01-25T06:04:00.000-08:00

Small vs. Large

How are men and parking lots similar? The best ones are taken and the ones remaining are handicapped. That’s a common adage, except that it is very relative regarding parking lots and depends on where you are located. For instance, I never have a problem finding the best parking spot at a grocery store or cinema theatre or the post office. (Notice that I have not included a mall as we don’t have one in my tiny town). On the other hand, with men, the rule is more universal. Indeed, I consider myself a poster girl for saying things not to be said on first dates with men! O well, if I were to elaborate more on my man-woes, one post wouldn’t be enough; an entire blog would have to be created and would stretch like the tales from the Arabian Nights!

We will come to the issue of small vs. large cities in a later post. Let’s explore this topic of small vs. large in a more vital context: a man’s stats. There was a recent article on CNN claiming that size does matter in bats. Male bats with larger unmentionables tend to have smaller brains and vice versa. When it comes to men, does this batting average hold? So, the next time a man claims that he is brilliant, is his sexual prowess suspect? Is the struggle between brain and brawn a zero sum game? But considering the fact that there are those who possess neither, shouldn’t the opposite hold true as well? Shouldn’t there be some Einstein-like studs as well? Or is it that merely wishful thinking?

The article goes on to state that this variation in sizes in bats in evolutionary and directly related to the promiscuity of the female bats. So, if the female bats are more flirtatious, male bats have bigger male parts and smaller brains and vice versa. The scientist in me is probably amenable to this reasoning. But the female in me revolts at such convoluted thinking: Isn’t it just like a male to claim that females are responsible for every “little” thing? Why can’t he simply accept nature’s gift of life and body parts and move on? Why should his shortcomings be directly attributable to the roving eye of his female companion? Perhaps we need to come up with an intelligent design explanation (based on the concept of irreducible complexity and indisputable stupidity) for this phenomenon as well. Calling on the over-zealous far right-wingers!

2006-01-24T09:56:00.000-08:00

Hello,

Welcome to my blog-site.

I am a first time blogger. Love to write although my computer skills are limited to typing. So, blogging is a big step for me! Must thank a fellow blogger for providing motivation and a blueprint for proceeding with this. Through blogging, I hope to share some life events, interests, and hobbies and promote some issue-based dialogues. As regarding how long this will continue, I don't know. Until I lose interest to either write or harass my readers to read! Wanna bet which one it will be? :-).

I certainly don't want to this to be a monotonous monologue of my life. Though of course, I get to be the judge and jury deciding what constitues monotony until I get some comments from discerning readers such as yourselves! Let's face it: had there been the remotest chance of my blog being selected for the Pulitzer prize in the the best blog category or even a scathing review by Michiko Kakatuni, I would have attempted to display my vocabulary mastery and literary flourish. Indeed, I would be perfectly content even if my own sister would of her own volition choose to read my blogs once a month! But being the realist that I am, I set my expectations far lower. So, this is just going to be a fun site (and I speak strictly for myself) with few insights occassionally thrown into the mix. With this blog-site, I now will find out who my true friends are, measured by their willingness to read my dribble.

Priya